Monday, November 07, 2005

Chapter 19

It was Rodger who confirmed the deaths of Nime and the wasps to the flowers. Rodger had made many trips to the tree and brought most of the ripe branches back to the dam for winter food. While he did this, he found little rests with the flowers peaceful and calming. Grass was starting to fill in around the patch, and Rodger would lie on it while talking to the flowers, or just looking at their pretty shapes. Beavers cannot see colors, but they have a deeply nuanced ability to smell.

Each flower took the news of Nime’s death with a smile and a shrug. They knew Nime died in the way she wanted, and that she would not have lived to the next season, but they also knew that they were sad.

Illy’s first reaction was nearly anger, because she was too afraid to allow sadness. Her anger that Nime had allowed herself to die, that Nime would not come visiting anymore had a few sparks before they turned to the cold embers of grief. Lilly’s first reaction was fear, because she realized that beauty and cleverness and goodness is sometimes not enough. This fear took a few jabs before turning into the emptiness of loss.

Mrs. Scarlet lost some of her red with the news, and Mr. Azure gained some blue.

By then it was late in the flowering season. Even Illy and Lilly’s petals were a bit limp near the edges. Their smell was coming in now, and they spent hours smelling each other’s scent and asking Rodger about it when he came by.

Rodger thought it was a bit thin, but kept this to himself. Mrs. Scarlet thought the same, but would say “Oh, Illy’s every bit as sweet as Lilly, but while Lilly carries a hint of citrus, Illy has a hint of a complex lime.”

Neither girl could make words like Mrs. Scarlet, so they repeated what she said over and over.

The summer sun was coming stronger now. Mr. Azure could feel the energy give his roots and branches more strength. He had no doubt there would be enough energy to seed, and more than enough left over for next year’s springtime growth. More than even Illy and Lilly would need with all their yabbering.

It struck Mr. Azure that he was no longer a young plant. Within the patch, only Mr. Caruso was older, which would have been the case in most patches the land over. As Mr. Azure looked around, he noted nooks here and there where his, and other’s seedlings could take up root, if change and good wind brought them there.

Mr. Azure opened up his leaves, let the sun shine down on him, and relaxed.




The season passed. Petals dropped, seeds came, seeds dropped, the sun set early, then earilier, and then it was time to return to the deep within the Earth, for the long sleep.

Illy and Lilly were surprised to find they didn’t mind going to seed at all. Eash’s seed pods were a beautiful white, nearly crystal in form, with radial symmetric gossamer wings to catch and hold the wind. When the seeds lifted off, they thrillingly bobbed and flowed with the wind.

Illy and Lilly were sorry to see Mr. Azure’s and Mrs. Scarlet’s petals drop away, but Mr. Caruso told them that when fashions come and go, the only true fashion is change itself. This gave the girls much to think about, not the least of which was that Mr. Caruso had fashion sense.

Mr. Caruso, for his part, felt old. He felt even older than his years and by years he was old. He figured that next spring he perhaps wouldn’t pop out of the long sleep.

So when winter passed, cold and dark, the patch stayed under the ground, Mr. Caruso surprised himself by not only growing out of the ground at all, but by flowering first.

No longer first to blossom out of five, he was the first to blossom out of 20, if flowers could count that high, which they cannot. The best the smartest flower could do was to assign 2 flowers per petal, but lost count after 4 petals full.

Illy and Lilly were beautiful. Their yellow trim came in that year. Each petal had a central dot of light pink, which seemed to enlarge the base of their flower. Each was the basis of the first year flower’s envy.

Illy and Lilly enjoyed this, of course, and just as Mrs. Scarlet did, they pretended not to. Instead, each told the first year flowers how beautiful they looked. And there were some truely beautiful flowers that summer. Either way, Illy and Lilly joined Mrs. Scarlet in spreading praise as evenly as they could.

The first bee visited them early in the spring. The flowers quickly named her Lin, which was short for Pollen. Lin’s real name was Twice-left-third-last-right-without, and Lin quickly started using her nickname. And she began spending more time with the flowers, at first simply because there were so many flowers to collect from.

The flowers learned that Lin was from the same hive Nime came from. That over the last summer the Queen sheltered in a horrid little hole, but that the wasps had never been seen again. That spring the Queen re-established the hive underneath a deep rock.

The group of five flowers told the story of Nime. And The Story of Nime became much loved among the bees of the hive, even as it had already become much loved among the flowers of the patch.

The End.

56 Comments:

Blogger Ilanna said...

BRAVO!!!! i love how you ended it with nime living on the way she always wanted...

I'm a little sad now though, that I won't have new chapters to come to. . . :)

5:47 AM  
Blogger Doc NOS said...

Hey, come back anytime.

When I click on your name, it comes to a dead end. Do you have a blog?

I think the body needs work. The end is just how it is.

Thanks for your reading.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Ilanna said...

I do have a blog, but i never update it. I'll have to work on that some. :) address is ilanna127.blogspot.com i think. :) last thing i posted was about a nasty wedding i went to.

I will keep coming back because i love to read your political and real world commentary - and i found your blog off of Echrai's.

You are right - i think the story as a whole needs some work and editing, but in general it's a great story and has a lot of potential.

The end *IS* how it is, though you may want to consider doing some sort of an epilogue designed for parents maybe as a guideline of what to discuss with the children, the moral etc. . .but that's not necessary - just an idea that isn't really done enough now a days with parents being so busy, if they don't see it in front of them they may not think to discuss it as much. Or to make sure the story is understood and not overly upsetting.

Can't wait to find out if you are able to take this story any further. . .

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Blogger Ilanna said...

oh yeah - and I keep a photoblog too :) forgot about that - moblog.co.uk/blog/ilanna :) mostly pictures of my dogs but sometimes other silly stuff...

5:28 AM  
Blogger Doc NOS said...

I'll check them out.

I'm revising the story here and there. Getting the bones down is good, with some flesh is better, but need to get everything smoothed out. At this point, you're right: potential and not actual. It has a bit to go before making it. Its nearly 19,000 words - but I think I might add a chapter - and editing tends to decrease my word counts.

10:31 AM  
Blogger marybishop said...

Amazing that you don't struggle to put down 19,000 words. I think I'd be pulling my hair out on what to write next, but you seem to write quite easily.

Yes, it's long...some editing I'm sure, but it's a good story which contains real-life conflicts and situations.

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