Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I Break for Mier's Eyeshadow

One dark and cold night the policeman asks the man why he's pacing around under a streetlight. "I dropped my keys." The cop responds, "Oh, I'll help you look" (it's in the suburbs). After a while and no luck the cop asks, "Do you think you dropped them here?" The guy responds, "Oh no, I dropped them down the block, but the streetlight is on here."

I think we can safely apply this logic to the upcoming Mier's confirmation hearings. Miers bears a striking personal style that is similar to Robert Smith of the Cure, although the former is perhaps a bit more butch, offset with more eyeshadow. And where Miers is a shadow figure, having written nothing of substance in her professional life, Robert Smith has been writing and singing songs for over 20 years. If they share similar styles, then there is a distinct possibility that looking at Robert Smith's professional work will shed some light on Miers. In any event, it beats looking around in the dark.

Furthermore, Miers might actually be Smith. As proof, has anyone seen them in the same room together at the same time? No? Well, I think I made that point.

It may help the congressional hearings if we examine what Harriet Miers/Robert Smith (Who I will call Harriet Smith, HS for short) thinks about the important issues of the day. Therefore, I offer up my analysis as an aide to the congressmen and women who will or will not confirm the one in this dyad who wears more eyeshadow.

Boys Don't Cry:

Don't say what you mean
You might spoil your face
If you walk in the crowd
You won't leave any trace

Here HS takes on what is so wrong with our judicial process, and she is brave to do so, given today's politicized climate. Her advice (to herself?) to not say what you mean, you might spoil your face (honor) is to be taken with the same grain of salt as it exhorts. When HS is telling us to doubt her, should we even doubt that very statement, thus making it a true statement? HS offers a thoughtful critique on the limits of language itself. This is one very bright lawyer!

On a more basic level, if one does say what one means, then one is destined to leave no trace, become one of the crowd with no hope of advancement. Words to the wise!

In other areas, HS lets her guard down. Let's see how.

Jumping Someone Else's Train:

It's the latest wave
That you've been craving for
The old ideal
Was getting such a bore
Now you're back in line
Going not quite quite as far
But in half the time
Everyone's happy
They're finally all the same
'cause everyone's jumping
Everyone else's train

If we can interpret this liberally (A supposition unto itself!), then HS is telling us that our old ideals might be subject to change, given a new wave that brings one back in line (speaking perhaps of moderation and centrism). Clearly HS is not a dogmatic ideologue, and open to further personal development. As a moderate liberal, I take this as good news.

I do think that HS is a bit naive to believe that this will make everybody happy, but I love the gleeful exuberance implied in the last line: everyone's getting ideas from everyone else. Certainly we need more, not less, of that!

Killing the Arab:
I can turn
And walk away
Or I can fire the gun
Staring at the sky
Staring at the sun
Whichever I chose
It amounts to the same
Absolutely nothing

I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an Arab

Although dressed up in terms of Camus' Stranger, here HS clearly identifies several important points of thought. One is abortion. "I can turn away or I can fire the gun," the choice is mine. Clearly in favor of choice. I don't think it gets any clearer than that. The rest of the stanza assumes Meursault's philosophical views (or lack thereof), so one cannot safely attribute the nihilism of "Whichever I choose, It amounts to the same, absolutely nothing" to HS. Spending time with Bush has no doubt inured HS to killing Arabs, but the Supreme Court has neither divisions nor battalions. If I were an Arab, I simply wouldn't visit the court when in session. I’m not saying that Meirs would kill you in cold blood, but if she did, then she could probably get herself off the hook.

On another topic, while a judge on the Supreme Court one will have victories and defeats. HS will have at least 6 peers of the highest caliber humanity has to offer in terms of intellectual vigor, scholarly thought, general wisdom, and logic. How does one interact with these colleagues, knowing that these brightest of the brightest people may disagree with you, and may even get pissed off at you for not seeing things their way? Once again, HS tells us what sort of person she will be:

In Between Days:
Go on go on
Just walk away
Your choice is made
Go on go on
And disappear
Go on go on
Away from here
Yesterday away from you
It froze me deep inside
Come back come back
Don't walk away
Come back come back
Come back today

So we see. Initially she will desire space, but then will want to resume relations shortly afterwards. Could one want any more of a work mate?

The most vital work a SC judge will do is interpreting the constitution of the United States. Some people believe the US Constitution is a holy document that transcends the importance and abilities of man. Many people believe it represents the best words ever laid onto paper. What is HS's personal, intellectual and emotional relationship with the most important words ever written? Although we must make due with what we have, I think we can gather quite a lot:

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you"

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

Now it is clear that HS is not a constitutional scholar. In fact, there have been no disclosures to indicate that HS has ever read the constitution. But that is not to say that HS has no capacity to read the Constitution. When HS does eventually read it (or its cliff notes), can we help but imagine it? On a dizzy ledge where HS dreams of all the ways to make it glow. Is that 'glow' to make it relevant to our increasingly technical and troubled times?

After studying the Constitution, in future times of trouble, when alone, will HS find the Constitution deep within her breast? Does this make the point against Scalia's Originalism? If so, then well done, you had us worried.

More troubling, perhaps, is HS relationship with the one who gave her the job in the first place (should she be nominated): Mr. Bush.

We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully
Wonderfully pretty
Oh you know that I'd do anything for you
We should have each other to tea huh?
We should have each other with cream
Then curl up by the fire
And sleep for awhile
It's the grooviest thing
It's the perfect dream

Hand in hand
Is the only way to land
And always the right way round

From this, one supposes she will retain her personal loyalties. Are we reading too much into "right way round"?

I think that covers most of the important bases. To sum up, HS will try to hide her 'face' during the confirmation hearings, possibly behind words themselves. She is open to change, does not oppose abortion or killing Arabs (Algerian ones in any rate), and will try to make friends with her peers on the court. More troubling, perhaps, is that she presently plans to remain loyal to her 'lovecat,' Mr. Bush.

She is also a damn fine singer songwriter and cuts a dashing figure on stage.


Blogger acumamakiki said...

Brilliant post, not to mention that you chose my most favorite Cure songs. Personally I think Robert Smith does better with eyeliner than HS, but I'm partial to men in makeup.

5:19 PM  
Blogger echrai said...

I've nearly got tears in my eyes. I can't help but wonder what my Con Law professor would think of this. Given that his specialty of choice is actually Constitutional law as it applies to the enivronment, he might actually enjoy this. Will I dare to print it out and hand it to him? Never. But I can just imagine his moustache twitching.

10:02 AM  
Blogger marybishop said...

Oh yeah, this was a good one Doc - well done indeed...hope many people read it --may I say a superb use of a contrapuntal theme...truly a "canon" in all senses

5:15 PM  
Blogger Doc NOS said...

A: Thanks. Most of those are my favorite songs as well. I listened to the train song when I was young so much I thnk its tattooed in my brain.

E: Feel free to share.

MB: You put the pun into contrapuntal. I wish it were a canon - threatening the powers that want to turn the US into a theocracy.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Michelle Fry said...

I'd vote for Robert Smith, not that we the people get to vote.

8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush goes ballistic about other countries being evil and dangerous, because they have weapons of mass destruction. But, he insists on building up even a more deadly supply of nuclear arms right here in the US. What do you think? What is he doing to us, and what is he doing to the world?
Are we safer today than we were before?
The more people that the government puts in jails, the safer we are told to think we are. The real terrorists are wherever they are, but they aren't living in a country with bars on the windows. We are.

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