Monday, May 02, 2005

Found Another

I'm moving on. We had some great times. I'm going to miss you, but I've found another.

I wasn't sure about you when we first met in Australia. I was on an extended vacation and wasn't looking for anything special. Honestly, you were just a lark, random chance, and I didn't think you'd stick. When I got back to the states I found myself surprised. You were on my mind - a lot. I'd go through an entire day and barely notice the gnawing sensation, and then I'd recall and feel flushed, vigorous, suddenly wide awake with a bounce in my step.

I'd remember the force with which you moved me. How I felt, to be helpless in your embrace, within a new setting, completely out of my element. How after I mastered some of this new environment, I felt so empowered. I grew to love how I felt with you. I spent the remainder of my time in Australia with you, and I loved every second. Afterwards I felt sore, hungry, and so happy I thought it was the work of drugs. But I haven't taken those since high school. It was you. All you.

I was so happy moving to San Francisco, where I could see you all the time. Once I was there, you brought me to new levels. So high. I remember being terrified at the power. I remember some times when it wasn't good. When that power was brought to bear with crushing force. When you made things choppy, disorganized, so much so I couldn't find patterns. I couldn't align myself properly in relationship to you. I felt cold, alone, and powerless. But I mastered even that, right outside San Francisco - I felt accomplished.

My job took me back East. I missed you. I remember the times we got together. It was weak and shallow. So terrible that I was happy to get away, but still felt our time together was much too short. I was giving up on you. I didn't have much hope for my next trip out West. But that changed when I got some new toys, which allowed me to slip back into your waters like a knife. I felt like I'd been repatriated back into my homeland. Resting comfortably in the sun, the feel of the power that was still there, the bob up and down according to your whim.

But by then things had changed. For one there were the others. In black. Some were nice, most were not. Some seemed like they wouldn't care if I slipped beneath your waters and drowned. One broke into my car. That sucked. The waters became too crowded for me. And our time together became a pressured time of dodges and accusations. We didn't have enough leisure. I feel that we share too much for either of us to take advantage. We must be honest.

This weekend I finally did it. I was going to come down to your place and, after suiting up for comfort and safety, slip between your waves like an otter. Instead I snapped into some new equipment.

It's a joy. It has good balance. Sure, there are up hills and down hills. There are times when the going gets tough and it's a chore to get the job done. It even gets scary; it feels sometimes like things are too fast, out of control. More frightening are the huge objects hurtling alongside, fast and deadly. But I think we're going to do just fine. After I'm done, I feel drained. I eat enough for 2 men. And I love it.

I'm going to be biking a whole lot more than surfing this summer. And I'm not going to miss the latter. Not too much.

3 Comments:

Blogger Geoff said...

You should do it this way - biking in summer, snowboarding in winter, hiking all year. That's what I do. Actually I try to do all of them all year. I have to go west for snowboarding in the summer, though. I bet you'll miss surfing. You'll be back at it before too long unless a rehab program can keep you away.

8:11 AM  
Blogger laurenbove said...

Oooh, well written! I was so excited I couldn't wait to find out to what you were referring.

3:00 PM  
Blogger marybishop said...

Great writing...you had me on the edge of my seat - watch out for stupid drivers though...sometimes I think they think that bikers --foot power or gas powered --are merely targets on the road.

8:35 AM  

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