Thursday, April 07, 2005

Retarded Goole

So I put in google about a month ago. I'm not planning on making any money on it at all, I just wanted to see how this entire google system worked.

On my last post I was bitching about my senior resident - and how retarded she is. So the ads on google began talking about autism. I hadn't mentioned autism in my post - just stupidity. This resident probably isn't autistic, and she has no wacky intellectual powers. That's interesting: retarded - to google - autism. I suspect google's translation reflects how both doctors, experts, and lay people are now seeing kids with mental and cognitive problems. We used to label stupid kids as simply retarded. We used to label kids who didn't play with others as shy, or nerds, or math professors. Now all these kids get translated into a name under autism. Most of it seems like bullshit. Every partent of a retarded kid would like them to really be autistic, indicating that their real problem is one of communication, and that, in reality, they live rich interesting inner lives. But what matters a name? A brain is just as gray and unknowable by any other name.

Let's try some other google translations:

Molten silicone

Green fury (also a good name for a comic book character)

Hot pants Bob.

Thick tined hand

We'll see what we get.

Any other suggestions?


Blogger marybishop said...

I know what NOT to put in google: stretching urethra.

I did this because a hypochondriacal friend was having hers done by a urologist and it sounded like a form of torture.

Google showed me there are no boundaries to fetishes and I swear you could put baby lamb in google and google would find something x rated.

7:05 AM  
Blogger Ern said...

Hmmm...memory tricks and getting paid to take surveys. Weird. Sometimes you can make the connection to the ads, and sometimes you can't!

11:43 PM  
Blogger laurenbove said...

Don't post words like: Cleveland Steamer. It doesn't refer to a train. Don't do Donkey Show or Kiestering, either.

You may want to remove the code from your sidebar and place it in the footer section of your template html page. One could see all of the google ads even if you didn't have a fancy big monitor.

Just a thought.

8:35 AM  
Blogger echrai said...

Have you heard of googlewhacking? No, it's not something disgusting and gross (although your results may be.) It's a game where you use google and attempt to come up with the perfect two word phrase to pull up one and only one site reference. In an attempt to do this, I tried putting in "calipygian rhododendron" (which didn't work) and managed to get a site promoting Viagra. "elliptical giraffes" didn't fare so well either. Oh, when you play you're not allowed to use the quotation marks. The rules are posted here. And no, I don't have too much free time, someone just mentioned it to me and I spent a late LATE night attempting it.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Doc NOS said...

Yeah, trying to trick google didn't work. My latest posts are on breasts, so we'll see what happens.

12:12 PM  
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