Thursday, February 03, 2005

Bulk Food

So Mrs. NOS and I went shopping yesterday at the bulk food place. If there is ever a single sign of our country declining into unearned decadence, other than anyone named Kennedy, Hilton, or Bush, then it is the Bulk Food Place. If you've never been, I'll give you the general layout: take one warehouse, put in crates of food, and pave a parking lot. Add people. Lots of people. No, more. And there you have it: bulk food for the masses. Where else can you get a 5 gallon jug of yellow mustard at wholesale? I'm not sure, but I now have no need to know, because I know that on aisle 27 down the street, that 5 gallon of mustard is waiting.

Can you use mustard to bathe?

The people there are, like me, rather dumbstruck. They wander through the flat screen TVs, look at 1300 dollar Movado watches next to 10 dollar casios.

It's amazing. It's the antithesis of food lines. America, let me tell you: we have it made. By all available data, we've beaten back one of the limiting factors of all civilizations: food supply.

When you buy $128.84 worth of food at a place like that, limiting yourself away from a 1000 dollar watch or a 500 desk, you are walking out of there with a huge amount of food. Mrs. NOS and I currently have enough power bars to outlast a minor ice age. Comets: come on! We bought 5 gallons of olive oil. Pure fuel.

As we walked out of the store, I couldn't help but note that our cart was big enough to hold all our food. Considering it took me 4 trips, not including Mrs. NOS who dealt with kid NOS and a bag or two, that is a big cart. We left a big store. We walked next to big SUVs. And the people who surrounded us were big. It is true that people are more obese these days, which I've commented on before, but there's an obese drag on people who would have probably been skinny a few years ago. The entire bell shaped curve that captures people who look like pencils to apples to bells is moving upwards.

Is that a small wonder or a big wonder?


Blogger Doc said...

Axis I---Big Wonder
Axis II--Small Wonder NOS
Axis III---Probably Hypothyroidism
Axis IV--McDonalds

10:23 PM  

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