Friday, January 14, 2005

Coffee Shop

I love coffee, therefore I love coffee shops. I do not love waiting in line for people to order their half-cream double decaf frapacino.

Listen, why don't you just get a cup of coffee? It is actually good for you, it protects against Parkinson's disease, and it gives you a lift. Don't overindulge, but enjoy. Cultivate the taste and before you know it your good taste will prevent you from drinking the sugar-fat solution they prepare for you. It will also prevent you from keeping the 5 people behind you in line from giving you evil looks behind your back. If you order coffee, you can later adulterate it with sugar and cream.

By the way, these are the same people who come to me and say, "I never even eat junk food. I don't know why I'm overweight. I only eat one meal a day even. I don't even eat as much as all my skinny friends." Right, but you forgot that 1000 calorie sugar-fat drink you had this morning.

Enjoy.

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